I'm Weird

May 2, 2019

When my car gets low on gas it makes me very mad.  I hate to stop at gas stations.  I’m not sure why, although one time two years ago a fuel pump nozzle didn’t automatically shut off and sprayed my van and me with gas.  I freaked out and probably have never recovered.  What if it happens again?  I’m weird that way!

It’s the same when my body says it is hungry.  Our Maker does not allow us to survive on fast food, sugar and high carbs alone.  Bummer.  Because I’ve never been one to have the patience to cook three wholesome meals a day, every day of my life.  I want something quick and easy, something that shuts off that annoying grumbling noise in my stomach.  It even annoys me… myself, that I view eating and cooking as a royal pain in the rear.  Someday I’ll live in a retirement home and have meals served to me.  Until then, my fridge is full of ingredients and nothing that looks easy or healthy enough to grab, eat and go.   Remember Star Trek where the officers could stand at a screen, describe a meal and a door would open and the food would appear?  I think I was born too soon.  I’m weird that way.

I don’t wear a bra in the morning while walking my dogs in my big secluded back yard.  I throw on a light zippered jersey over my shirt. The Girls are covered and I figure who needs decorum at six in the morning?  Occasionally one neighbor says hello and has asked why I’m wearing a jersey in the early warm Florida humidity.  Poor guy.  I don’t want to embarrass him so I mumble an excuse, never mentioning that my girl parts need a chance for some fresh air every once and awhile.  Oh, yah.  I’m weird that way.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  I crack me up.  But I’m weird like that.